if your idea of thinking ahead is unzipping your fly before having a pee, there are a few strategies you must use before come to Pirana. Most of these won’t actually get you in any faster, but will at least ensure you have the best chance of having a good night.
Sign up Loyal Membership.
Signing up with Pirana’s Loyal Membership you will benefit with not just our continues love, Que Jump and standard entry fee for both days Friday and Saturday Nights.
Be polite, calm and respectful. Our Security have been standing in the cold door for hours. They have been speaking to people like you for hours. They get tired and bored and they have heard it all before. Nothing you can say will surprise a security in the front door. You can win an argument with a security and he still won’t let you in. So be nice to the security.
Make an effort with your appearance Girls, dress up and put some make-up on. Boys, try and look like you’re going on a date, not like you’re spearheading a grunge revival. It’s not the 1980s in the Home Counties and no-one is going to refuse you entrance for wearing jeans and trainers, but they should be cool jeans and trainers. I am regularly bewildered by what the youngsters wear today, but even in my dim, fuzzy state of fashion senility, an effort shines through. Incidentally, one of the main reasons clubs favour the better turned out is because, if we let scruffy people in, those who have made an effort complain like hell. Boys, don’t arrive in groups of ten. There are three reasons we don’t let large groups of men in. The first is that they are far more likely to get drunk and cause fights (sexism isn’t just for girls). That second is that the police tell us not to (because you get drunk and cause fights). And the third is that people do still go to clubs to pull so, assuming it’s not a gay night, some sort of gender balance is desirable.
Don’t carry alcohol. Don’t carry drugs. Nearly all clubs will search you and most have to take ID. We do these things because the police tell us to, not because we love treating your night out like you’re boarding a plane two days after a terrorist attack. Also, if you’re visibly very drunk, you are not going to be let in. So go away and sober up; chew some gum or drink some water. And, if there are five you who are fine and one who’s very drunk, put him or her in a taxi home.
Arguing with the door staff is pointless and pleading with them is demeaning, even if they have just let the people behind you in.
Don’t badmouth the club while you’re queuing or if you been suspended from Pirana.
This may seem obvious but, after you’ve had a few, the desire to appear cool to your friends by trash-talking the venue you’re desperately trying to get into can become overwhelming. Resist it. If the door-staff overhear you, they won’t let you in. And then your friends who, only two minutes ago, were laughing at your witty disses will hate you.
Finally, remember that we do actually want your custom, assuming you’re a half-decent, half-sober, half-stylish human being – and we want you to have a good time. But we also want everyone else to have a good time. For the most part, if bouncers refuse you entrance, it’s because you look like trouble. So learn what trouble looks like – and don’t look like that.